PART ONE....
My journey to becoming a life coach has been one of experience combined with professional learning. I truly believe this is the foundation of an effective coach... without the life experience, how can you ever know how a person feels and what might help them change their mindset and improve their life?
So here's part one of a little history about the events in my life that eventually led to me becoming a life coach...
AGED 15, I DEVELOPED AN EATING DISORDER
I lived with a terror of food for approximately seven years. I didn't know it at the time but this acutely self-destructive condition created in me a deep empathy and sense of compassion for anyone struggling with behavioural issues. Thankfully, in my early twenties, I recovered from anorexia, but the memories of that chapter sit solidly in my mind. Living like that for half my teenage years resulted in a conviction that whatever I did for a job when I was older, it had to be in the realm of helping people.
AGED 20, I WAS ATTACKED BY MY BOYFRIEND
The first time I realised the critical importance of self-awareness was in the aftermath of a serious physical assault that happened following the break-up of a relationship. The assault was so violent that the police placed me in a secret location where I stayed for several weeks afterwards so that the perpetrator couldn't find me. I then relocated to London to escape him completely. Prior to that attack, I had no realisation of how my self-destructive tendencies could lead me into such grave situations. I felt bombproof simply by existing, and I wasn't. I came to understand a lot about myself in the months after that attack, and I changed significantly. Because I came so close to losing my life, I began to value it for the first time and started taking steps to look after myself.
AGED 23, I BECAME A MOTHER
The perspective overhaul we experience as a result of becoming a parent is like no other. At the age of 23, I switched from a person who felt as though the world mostly revolved around me, to one where my sole focus was my daughter. She saved me in so many ways, and becoming her mother created the foundations for a new life that has given me so many gifts. Having Isobel made me work so hard - I wanted to be a success for her and subsequently pushed through all sorts of personal issues in order to make our life good. She taught me dedication, commitment and self-belief. Those 3 things became key ingredients in creating and growing both Soberistas and my life coaching business years later.
AGED 27, I GOT DIVORCED
For years after my ex-husband walked out on me, I felt as though I was walking around with a giant neon light flashing over my head: DIVORCEE! FAILURE! UNLOVEABLE! TRAIN WRECK!
I used alcohol to self-medicate, searched tirelessly for a new husband, sank to new levels of self-loathing, and did it all without understanding that the one thing I needed more than anything was to love myself, get to know myself properly, let go of the crutches (men, wine and partying) and just be. Those 8 years of my life took me to the depths of severe depression. But I climbed out. I learnt. I grew. I changed. It all went into my outlook on life, humanity, love and survival.
AGED 35, I QUIT DRINKING
Despite all of the self-awareness and personal development that I underwent during my twenties and thirties, I clung onto my bottle-of-wine-a-night habit until one fateful night in April 2011. But when I finally stopped drinking, I encountered such a seismic shift in everything - my perception of self, my daily habits and lifestyle choices, my relationships, in finally seeking help for the PTSD I had been living with since the aforementioned assault... everything. It all came out, got shaken up, recalibrated, reprogrammed and put back in. Like I was a new person. I saw the light. I saw me. I understood all the things that had remained out of my grasp for so many years. Stopping drinking was the hardest thing I ever did and I remain full of admiration for anyone who even begins to tackle this monster. Stopping drinking also led to the creation of Soberistas.com and then, a few years later, to my life coaching practice. I felt so passionately that I wanted to work with people who were going through what I had for all those years; I wanted to offer them my insights into sobriety, how I had got there and the ways in which stopping drinking changed my life.
There's a few more stages in the journey to me becoming a life coach but I'll save those for my next couple of blogs... For now, I'll leave you with this quote:
"Life is the art of drawing without an eraser." ~ John W. Gardner
Lucy xx 😘
